We asked our audience that are women in Kashmir treated differently than men. Everyone agreed that women are treated differently, while most agreed that they are treated badly as compared to men, few believed actually women are treated better than men in Kashmir.
Here are few responses we had got.
It’s not about Kashmir or any other place, men will be narrow minded they will always disrespect her and I guess every place has both kind of people.
Yes they are. Majority of women in Kashmiri families are treated as housekeepers. It’s believed that they have to do the house and kitchen chores because they have go lukhund gare. This is the pre marriage phase of Kashmiri girls life where her mother tells her to do the kitchen chores and not her brother if she has one. As for her post marriage phase, even before tying up the bond, her in laws are already thinking that now they will have a new housekeeper as the old one is getting weak now(Mother in law). This is the idea behind getting their son married so that they get a new woman to serve them all. I know it doesn’t happen in every family, but can’t deny the fact that it does in majority of the Kashmiri families. Another point is, if a girl chooses the guy herself ( even without an affair or something) , people don’t forget to mention for millions of years that typical sentence ( em chu paneye kormut) , while as with boys, their family rejoices the fact that he has chosen a girl for himself.
So differently, that even they don’t know themselves that how badly they are treated. For them it is all natural, patriarchy isn’t a concept there in our community. And male chauvinism will never give a damn to such things.
Especially in Kashmir women lack behind men in almost every aspect. We are still behind in giving women an identity and a trust that she can work and live like a men. She has to define and prove herself at every point !
Prejudice as in that Islamic laws should be same for boys and girls but when Rohulla gazi does naked ad for Raymond or any other model from Kashmir they are adored but when Zaira Wasim played a little role she is hated, same is case with singing, blame game etc. There are such myriad of examples. I believe Islamic laws are made for both men and women.
Yes they are treated differently and it is not only limited to Kashmir but all over. We don’t need special or reserved seats we ain’t weak that much we can afford it by our hard work but the thing is that we must get the chance because it is almost clear that not every girl gets a degree of freedom but now things are changing day by day but still we can so much abuse on the streets and that is the major problem which needs to be eradicated and some men must change their way of thinking seriously especially in some places in downtown.
It pains me but yes they are treated differently than men, while not all of the men are same but there is a considerable number of men that I have seen doing this.
But on the other hand negative feminism must be stopped as well, some women think they are superior to men, but I being a pakka wala feminist seriously think we are equals, each one excels in a particular thing, comparing them is not a good thing.
The truth be told, women in every society suffer more judgmental opinions and go through gender bias. There are stereotypes associated with women even in our society. It was shocking that some people here even blamed girls for natural calamities. I can’t decide whether it was pathetic or just stupid. Although, it’s great to see us moving away from such practices, when future generations can speak freely against this sexist approach. P.S Yeah, gender reservations suck but that won’t absolve the mankind of continued discrimination against women.
Ruhan Madni Naqash
It is so sad that people (especially men) defensive or diplomatic in their comments regarding this topic. Men and women are not given equal education opportunities by the society, are treated differently and discrimination against women is quite prevalent. Let’s acknowledge this and only through acknowledgment can we make a change.
In Kashmir we treat women like cattle. Its high time this moronic mentality changes.
Jab baat apne ghar ki khawateenon ki ho to logun ki thinking mukhtalif rehti hai as compared to dusre ke ghar ki khatoon ke. People who comment over seats being offered to woman in buses etc instead of them, wouldn’t they want their mothers or sisters being offered a place to sit rather than being pushed amidst the rush while standing . Allah created woman to be treated well, to be taken care of then why some men are being jealous about it. Jitni responsibilities uthane ke liye admi ko banaya gaya hai usmein se kitni hi utha raha hai aj ka admi , woman are working in offices as well as homes and are doing far better in all the fields maintaining the balance with excellence. How many men of our society look after kitchens after coming from work , clean the house, teach the kids for that matter any household work. Women are doing far more better than men in today’s life look at your own mothers and sisters for the proofs.
Yes they are. Women are denied spaces that are easily available to men. Women are expected to act a certain way. Worse still is how the society tricks everyone into believing that what they ask women to do or not to do is ‘Islamic’. A loose jeans is still a jeans and a not so loose kameez salwar is considered modest. So basically, the things Kashmiri society expects from women under the garb of Islam have very little to do with Islam. Islam has a very pro women approach. Women in Islam have been powerful and successful to say the least. Such things are not expected off from women. Men look at women on streets like women are second grade citizens. They dehumanize women and look at women as if they have a right to look at women they look at. For men, any women out on the street should not be there. It is not as if women do not come out. They do, but there is always that air of not belonging to the streets. I can go on and on about it. There are positives. Women are allowed and encouraged to pursue education but there are lots and lots of negatives.
Our is a patriarchal, patrilocal and patrilineal society. Obviously women are not treated the way they should have been. Rather than consider them better half, the meaning of women for man has been reduced to one who cooks his meals and gives birth to his children.
When most of the women in Kashmir are homemakers, that is, the most integral part of any family yet what they get is disrespect, humility not so significant appreciation. Only if there efforts, and role could be understood.
Women are more free & educated here than many other parts of India. Take my example, my mother works & my sister is pursuing MBBS in Bangladesh.. Had we been patriarchal, we wouldn’t have let them do things, they wanted.
Let us be honest, we men are lagging behind in every field. This, treating women differently needs to stop now. We should respect them obviously but extending special privileges just because they are women needs to be stopped. And women should be treated equally as men.. Period ?
Actually women are treated better than men in Kashmir . Every thing comes for women these days whether it is job , scholarship , marks in exams etc etc
Personally I always tried to uplift and encourage women I knew. But at this point of time things are getting worse regarding their behavior towards men. I am not saying all of them but there are certain elements who are getting indulged in certain things that nobody will be able to accept. The problem starts when they name it as feminism. We are Kashmiris we have our own culture and boundaries for both men and women. Excel in your life, do what is best for you, always strive to be good person, good women. Moment you act like men or men act like women everything gets disturbed. Both are special and unique in their own way.
Main photo credit: @seekandhise