They laughed at me and made fun of me bullied me without even realizing the trauma I was going through and that was the day I decided to keep this to myself no matter how much pain it causes me no matter how much of hurt I go through I had to keep it myself, this thing which I was coming into terms with and thus my story started.
They say that lightning does not strike at two places the same time well in my case I guess I was sure unlucky as it did struck me not once ,twice but as many times , I had already lost my child hood to what back then everyone called as “tehreeq “ a fate which many children of my generation had to endure and the pain of being a kind of social outcast of sorts was just like the final nail in the coffin and the sad part was I had only two shoulders to carry that coffin .
Understanding was all what I wanted from people, I only wanted them to be patient with me listen to me, take some time to hear me out but everyone was in a hurry and no one took out time for me just a few minutes would have been enough for me but all I got were fake lectures as no one actually understood my problem because they thought that’s because of me that they are having a problem of understanding me.
My parents also never understood, yes they raised me with utmost care and dedication but in the process lost a son. they only thought that keeping a check on my studies, giving me shelter, paying my school fees, giving me good clothes was what they were best at and rest of the things I had to do on my own, I craved for that emotional support .The problem which i had with my own self only became worse and i became a silent spectator of my own downfall .
I became silent , never spoke to people with whom I was not too friendly with and some people took it for my arrogance, things became so tough for me at one point of time that I even changed my address , my name , name of my family members just to make things easy for me, the trauma of what i was going through had really become unbearable, and i used to think that same would have been the fate of millions like me around the world and they also might be going through the same trauma like me . why is not this world where we live simple , why is it so complicated , why does it always go after those who are weak or in some way are not up there to keep phase with it.
Life was not going as it should have and I was in constant pain, the pain of being unaccepted by people, some were my own friend some from my own family who used to crack jokes on me and make fun me and then used to say “ chall na hum tou mazak kar rehay thay” (we were just kidding) which was even more hurting. Life went on and I passed my metric but all along I carried this burden of a social outcast of sorts then the most important turning point in my life came I changed my school, went into higher secondary made new friends who understood me thankfully and realized that for me to come out of the problem I needed their emotional support which I got in plenty , I kept myself busy in school activities and sports and soon I realized that I was discovering a new me in myself , the best way to live life is to live it actually and I was making the best use of it, the grades started to improve friends started to multiply and life became good .
Wondering I was that how this sudden change in my life had happened, I had almost given up and here a newly elected school leader was steering back at me in the mirror, was it me, where was I hidden before when life was tough, full of trauma when no one accepted me when no one gave me a second chance when I was surrounded by people who did not want to understand me for who I was and as life progressed I completed my graduation, post gradation i got better and better and with every passing day and I learned that my problem can only be cured by me only as i was the only medicine available for it because it involved me
The problem I had has nearly vanished but still I have to deal with it every now and then, and now whenever I speak officially I get paid for it , the problem I had was of excessive stammering , how I came out of it is known to God only and has involved a lot of hard work from my side as well . I have not written this article just to put my life on paper , but I want to put the word across that when I can do it so can others who have this issue of stammering all we need is confidence and a lot of good motivation
It’s my sincere request to people if you ever come across a person who stammers please don’t laugh or make fun of him/her just be patient and give a patient hearing you never know it could have been you Today I am in a field where I am required to talk a lot and everyone calls me RJ NASIR.
Nasir is RJ at Big FM – Srinagar, Kashmir. He has set a record and joined an ‘elite’ RJ group by remaining live on air for a total of 111 hours.